I had to deal with one of the more bizarre occurrences you might come across as a chimney sweep just the other day – A lady customer called me to say that she could hear a bird flapping around in her chimney. She was completely perplexed as to how the bird had got in there and was concerned that it might die in the chimney and start to smell, particularly as the was rather warm at the time. I made this job a priority and attended the address immediately. The mystery was immediately solved when I attended the address a large Victorian villa in Saffron Walden; I looked up at the chimney stack and noticed that it had a number of rather large pots, none of which were fitted with anti-bird cowls. Inside the premises I found that the chimney concerned was fitted with an integral, Jetmaster open fire configuration. The customer told me that the bird had not been making any noise for a few hours. I simply placed my hand through the appliance and into the chimney where I was able to feel the bird, take a firm hold of it and draw it out the chimney. It was not quite dead, it was no more, he had ceased to be, kicked the bucket, shuffled off his mortal coil, etc, etc! It turned out to be a rather large pigeon (not a parrot) – The customer was very relieved to have it removed from the chimney and disposed of!